Chart a path forward

I’ve learned that we have to take control of our lives. We are ultimately responsible for that. And if we don’t take control, then we are abdicating our responsibility and we end up paying dearly for that… so I better start learning as much as I can on who I am and how I react and deal with these things… emotionally, physically and even spiritually. - RCMP Veteran

Being accountable to ourselves and others is not always our first instinct. It often means overcoming our natural resistance, (eg. “It’s too difficult; It’s impossible”) or our shame (e.g., “I must be weak”; “I’m a failure”). With every step forward, we learn that we can trust ourselves to take on another difficulty.

Veterans are used to following orders. It can be hard to feel that the weight of responsibility for our wellbeing rests squarely on our own shoulders. It can be a day-by-day challenge to really show up to our lives and ask ourselves where we are not showing up.

Many CAF and RCMP Veterans have said that while it was relatively easy to have someone else’s back, it is not as easy to have their own. Responding to our grief may mean rebuilding confidence in ourselves.

It takes guts to take a hard look at ourselves. The fact that you are here looking at this resource is proof of your courage to begin the work of grief. Grief work can feel contradictory in that it requires attention and effort and at the same time is a process of “letting go” and “acceptance”.