When discharge was not your choice

I was released for medical reasons - when diagnosed with PTSD. I felt rejected, like I became invisible, that I no longer had value for my service family or my own family. I wondered: Who am I now? I lost part of self when my uniform was removed. Now I’m trying to construct an identify that has value outside the uniform. I continually live in the shadow of the uniform. - Military Veteran

When they come and tell you you’re going medically, you almost feel like you’re a waste of skin. - RCMP Veteran

You may already be grieving the losses you have experienced because of your illness or injury, and those may be many – loss of function, energy, changes in relationships, ability to earn income, to name a few. You may be wondering who you are now and shaking your sense of self-worth. You may be grieving the loss of certainty and security that your career provided.

Being disconnected from colleagues and support can add another layer to grief.

Depending on the severity of your injury, you may be concerned about what the future holds for you and your family. If support services haven’t been readily available or inadequate you may feel abandoned and that your sacrifice is neither recognized nor respected.

Losing my career as both a soldier and a police officer ()

My life took a drastic turn ()

I felt betrayed and rejected ()

Between the 1950s and 1990s, Government of Canada policy created a culture of discrimination and harassment of homophobia, biphobia, and transphobia in the civil service, the CAF and the RCMP. Members of the 2SLGBTQ+ community were identified, investigated, and often expelled from the service. They were denied benefits, severance, and pensions. Some were given the choice between dismissal and psychiatric treatment. Those who kept their positions were often demoted, transferred, or denied promotion. These horrific experiences resulted in psychological trauma and additional layers of grief that continue today.

If you were discharged as part of the Purge, the loss of identity, feelings of betrayal, and lack of recognition for your service can make grief more complex. It may have contributed to a lack of access to needed resources and supports. You may feel betrayed by the organization you were committed to, or you might grieve the years you lost to an organization that would not recognize you as a Veteran until recently.

I was directly targeted by a senior commander who wanted me out because I'm a goddamn dyke. And for no other reason. I get harassed. Senior officers that had witnessed and heard what he had said wouldn't support me… my military career was the one thing that I felt some confidence in. So, what seemed to be the best part of my identity was taken away from me. - Military Veteran