What you may be feeling: Isolation and abandonment
How can we ensure that over the career of a police officer - and a police employee as well - that they go through their career and they get out… as a person who has connections, interests; who has goals and purpose? That’s so important. - RCMP Veteran
We didn’t retire from the military: the military retired us. We’re essentially abandoned and told to go fend for ourselves. There’s a sense of disconnection and a lack of knowing how to remain connected. - Military Veteran
Loss of your service family and other supports
Retirement from CAF or the RCMP often results in a move. This can lead to the loss of significant relationships and a lost community that your service family provided in both your professional and personal life. These losses can include, among others:
- Colleagues
- Friends
- A sense of belonging
- Your family doctor or other medical practitioner
- Other community supports
Feeling left behind
CAF and the RCMP have been described as “a really fast-moving train that doesn’t stop.” After you leave, you may feel like that train has kept going without you.
The military was, in many ways, this safety blanket, and then all of a sudden you’re just tossed out. Really, it can feel like you’ve been thrown to the wolves. When I was in the military, we’d talk about the people who retired or got released almost as if they were dead: "Oh, do you remember when that person…" It’s like you’re no longer relevant - you’re no longer part of the discussion. But it’s not done maliciously, it’s just that everybody is so busy, and everybody is working so hard that they don’t have time to keep up with all the guys that are out. - Military Veteran
I went back to the base, and I had nobody to talk to, because none of the folks that I had been there with were still around. And it was more lonely, and I felt a little bit on a desert island. - Military Veteran
You may feel abandoned or left behind by your service family. You might feel you are not being supported the way you should for the service-related challenges you may be facing in post-service life. You might also be feeling:
- Angry
- Bitter
- Isolated
- Disillusioned – that your service is being disrespected and your sacrifices not honored.
I felt disenfranchised and pretty bitter, and I had to get through some anger. That was just part of the grief process that I had to recognize - I was angry at having been left behind, and I felt pretty disillusioned because so many people I had been so close with didn’t stay in touch. For some of my friends, sometimes it felt like nobody from their unit talked to them. - Military Veteran
I started reminding myself what it was like in the military and reminding myself that it’s not personal. I remember what it was like when I was going to the field, going on tour, or pre-deployment training. And you know, the op tempo is still just as busy today as it was then, so I try to rationalize it: How much did I do for others? Those people who got out when I was still serving - how much time did I have for them? So it’s not personal. - Military Veteran
Feeling hurt and angry with how it ended
You may be disappointed, hurt, or angry with people and institutions that were once central in their life. You may question how strong those relationships were in the first place.
When I left the Battalion, there was no mug; I never got a certificate, and I’d been there for about eleven years. - Military Veteran
