When retirement isn’t all that you expected

Retirement does not always go as expected. The grass may not be greener on the other side of service, and you may find yourself yearning for the past. Your financial future may not be what you hoped it would be. Your expectations about retirement may not align with reality. Disappointment is not uncommon.

I was no longer this high achiever, star performer, shooting star in the military. I had a succession plan. I had all these things outlined for me in my life: I was married at the time; I was gonna be a mom. There were all these things that I thought about, dreamt about, and planned for as to where my life was going. Then none of these things ever happened. So, I was actively grieving because I had to work through the things that would never come to be. I kinda had to face that "Okay, well, I’m not gonna be this, and I’m not gonna be that…" The reality of that loss had to be grieved. - Military Veteran

Many people enter retirement with a vision of leisure and doing things they may have put on hold during their career. This may not be the reality of reduced income, changes in social connections, and the need to fill time. You may feel bored, lonely, and “disenchanted”. When our expectations for retirement are not met, we grieve what might have been. Grief can require a great deal of effort and involves acknowledging what has been lost. It can take a shift in mindset and reorienting yourself to find new ways of finding fulfilment.

We are making plans for the future all the time. Our plans and expectations move us forward and help to give us a sense of purpose. Be it mapping out the weekend or longer-term plans like retiring to the lake, our plans often provide us with direction and reassurance in the future.

We must be willing to let go of the life we planned, so as to have the life that is waiting for us. - Joseph Campbell, American author