When grief surfaces after service

You’re just too busy when you’re over there, everything is compartmentalized. That is the only way to get through it. - Military Veteran

Those whose colleagues have died often talk about the need to compartmentalize, lock their grief away in a “box”, or put up walls that prevent them from feeling or thinking about the loss. This can be a necessary way of coping during deployments, postings, or operations, where you must perform effectively to survive and ensure the survival of others.

I didn’t dwell on that in the moment. I knew there were more pressing matters that needed to be attended to. So I kinda shifted gears and focused on the guys that were still living. - Military Veteran

What helped you cope during service may have only postponed your grief. Grief tends to emerge when you are in a safe situation, with minimal pressure to perform, and your basic physical needs are being met. For many Veterans, it’s often only after they leave the service that they begin to experience the full impacts of grief.

You have to preserve your integrity when you’re working, so you delay your grief. It was only during my five weeks leave at home that it hit. It feels like you’re repressing and controlling a certain part of you until it’s time to release. - Military Veteran