Medics: Death of a colleague
Medics are faced with the sometimes impossible task of keeping the wounded alive while carrying a steady stream of multiple deaths. When a colleague in your care dies, it can be devastating. You may not recognize at first that you are grieving.
Many of these people were my buddies, they were people that I knew. That’s when the doubt would start to creep in, and once my confidence was gone, it was an uphill battle to get it back. Every time I lost someone, it was a defeat and it really hit me hard. - Military Veteran
Reminding yourself that you are only human, can help. It can also help to focus on the positive impact your presence and skills had to the lives of those you cared for.
The care I provided for the warriors as a medic was better than if nobody was there to help them. My best is all they had, and I have to be proud of what I did in that moment. Whatever I did is better than not doing anything. So, I would tell myself, "That was a loss – it was a shitty day." But I have to accept that sometimes my best isn’t good enough because I’m not God. - Military Veteran
Being a witness to last words
Medics may have served a “confessor” role to the men and women they served with. You may have become the keepers of stories, regrets, secrets, and legacies for colleagues who became patients.
I was there in the last moments of their lives, making my face the last face so many people have seen, because no one dies alone on my watch. - Military Veteran
It can be painful and isolating to carry so many last words and last moments, but it can also feel sacred and a great honour. Being able to pass on these last moments to their families and loved ones can also be an act of honouring their memory.
When I do that kind of thing, I honour all those lives, all those colleagues, all those friends, and I unburden myself from being the sole keeper of all their stories. - Military Veteran
