Prepare for retirement not to be perfect
The utopia that many people expect with retirement may not be realistic. Retirement may be driven by a “flight” response to stress - “I have to get out” which may focus solely on what is being escaped and doesn’t plan for what may be lost or what is ahead.
New challenges can add to the tensions the Veteran and family may have already experienced while in service. New questions might be:
- Where and how do we live now that others aren’t making those decisions?
- Who are we now?
- Where does everyone fit in the family now?
- Who are our supports now ?
- Are we still part of the CAF or RCMP family?
What the Veteran may experience
Some veterans thought they might work in a different capacity after retirement, and those imagined post-service opportunities may not pan out or are difficult to find. This s can add to feelings of regret and loss. They may have looked forward to freedom and relaxation, but find they are bored and restless, and feel unmotivated to move in a different direction.
What spouse/family may experience
You also may be disappointed that retirement has not led to the Veteran’s contentment. If you’ve both retired at the same time, your expectations of life in retirement together may not be the reality. You may find it hard to understand your partner’s unexpected change of heart and frustrating that they aren’t embracing your shared plans.
You may have had expectations that your spouse would now contribute more to the work of the family having left the service. If they are struggling and unable to pitch in as you had hoped, this may leave you feeling disappointed and frustrated.