Discrimination

In my experiences, especially as a woman, I have discovered that it didn't matter how well I did, it didn't matter how much I knew, it boiled down to 'you’re a woman,' it came down to 'it must be you're on your period,' or “you're just being irrational, you're overreacting.' It didn't matter if I came through a situation with the most rational intentions, didn't matter if I followed the rules — it was always 'you should keep your mouth shut.' And it was a very abusive relationship for me and for people who are associated with me. - Military Veteran

Because the demographics in CAF and RCMP service skew toward men, sexism is most typically directed at women.

You may not have felt accepted in the military or the RCMP, or you may have felt that your service wasn’t valued. You may have felt you weren’t ever able to meet expectations, no matter how you tried. You may feel that you lost a piece of yourself or had to subvert your gender identity to be accepted.

You may have experienced unwanted sexual attention or contact, but you may not have felt able to make a complaint, or if you did, you may not have been believed or received the support you needed. You may not have felt heard because of your gender or felt you had to compartmentalize to survive. All this may have led you to feel betrayed by the institution.

For more information, see Sexual trauma.

There’s a stigma that women aren’t doing a “real” job in the military ()

I experienced sexism at bootcamp ()

I was discriminated against as a woman ()

The practice before was you don't ask you just tough it out. Because if you ask for help, then you're weak. And who wants to be weak, right? If you show that you're weak, then you become their prey. And there's no way that I'm gonna be the prey. I'm already a prey being a Black man, right? So now I want to make sure that I do whatever I need to do. So … didn't ask for help. - Military Veteran

Your experience of racism might be overt, with people making direct comments and taking obvious action to diminish you. It might be more subtle, including microaggressions (everyday verbal, nonverbal, and environmental slights, snubs, or insults) or limiting your opportunities. You may have felt you had to minimize your differences to fit in, or felt pressure to excel to prove yourself on behalf of your race. You might also have experienced a loss of your culture.

For more information, see Loss of culture.

Systemic racism and obstacles I faced ()

I wasn't invited to share who I was ()

As a woman of colour I was held to a higher standard I could never obtain ()

Understanding the culture you find yourself in ()

I kicked the door open of the closet. I knew I was queer but I quickly realized it was not OK to be gay (in the service)… I got cautioned regularly… 'you ought to be quiet about that stuff'… We were all scrambling not to be seen… they knew they were gay and they wouldn’t say it… - Military Veteran

The lives of 2SLGBTQ+ people in service continue to be deeply affected to varying degrees by both historical and current oppression and discrimination. You may or may not recognize the ways discrimination and oppression affect you, and you may not realize you are grieving the layers of loss you have experienced.

As a member of the Two-Spirit LGBTQ+ community, you may have felt you had to hide who you really were, or you may have felt the impact of discrimination in service. You may have been part of the systemic expulsion on the basis of sexuality and gender identity.

For more, see When discharge was not your choice.