Everyone grieves differently
Grief is unique to each person’s situation. Even if you and a colleague or family member are facing the same loss, you will likely grieve differently. This may result in you feeling alone in your grief if others have different responses to the loss.
Not everyone expresses their grief in the same way. Some may be overcome by sorrow or anger; others may feel numb, and this can change at any time. While some wish to talk openly about the loss, others may choose to distract themselves or get “busy” with other things.
Why we approach grief the way we do
Expectations of how we “should” feel and respond to loss and grief are often informed by:
- Our experiences of loss growing up and how grief was (or was not) addressed.
- How our given culture, religion, society, and those around us understand and respond to grief.
- How loss and grief was (or was not) acknowledged by colleagues and superiors when in service and after.
What may affect your grief
- If the loss was a death: your relationship with the person, and how the person died.
- The ways in which the death impacted various aspects of your life.
- Your personal values and beliefs.
- The kinds of supports you may or may not have.
- Whether your grief is recognized by the service, colleagues, family or friends.
- How you tend to cope with distress and other losses.
- Your history of experiencing difficult events in life, such as past losses.
- Other events occurring in your life, such as a new job, moving, separation or divorce, your physical and mental well-being, or financial struggles.
Grief is personal
Given how individual grief is, it is not be surprising that a coping strategy that works for you may not work for a colleague or family member. It is also possible that your past coping strategies may not work as well as they used to or may not work for every situation. You may need to learn new ways to deal with the loss.
