Impact on family and the “service family”
There were some in the family who were not supportive of his choice of a military career. Some do not understand or agree with how he ended his life. And when you have those discussions about that kind of stuff, it can cause friction within because everybody is dealing with it in their own way. So I’ve got to say that sometimes a discussion within a family isn’t as helpful as finding that neutral partner to talk to. - Family Member
A death by suicide can cause significant strain in families, circles of friends, and within the service. Families, friends, and your service family and colleagues can be a great source of support for one another, but sometimes tension and conflicts can erupt. Longstanding and unresolved conflict often come to the surface. Different ways of grieving and communicating can cause tension. Conflicting answers to the ongoing questions about the death, and the shock and trauma can magnify existing tensions or create new ones.
Privacy: Media, social media and investigations
If the media becomes involved, or things are posted on social media, privacy can be almost impossible to investigation or legal case can further prolong the grief. In addition, an autopsy may reveal new and unknown information about the person who died, and the circumstances of their death, which can add to your sense of shock, pain, and confusion. All of this can contribute to the complexity of grief.
Attitudes to press coverage and social media may differ within the family.
Strategies: What may help
- Try to keep lines of communication open within your family and service family.
- Remember that everyone grieves differently, and there is no one right way to grieve.
- Set boundaries for yourself with media and social media. Ask directly for privacy.
- Determine what you have control over and what you do not.
- Consider family therapy. It can be very helpful for the family to be together in a safe and respectful space to share what each is going through. Ask for a family therapist with expertise in suicide grief and trauma.
What else may help . . .
Peer support groups
Professional counselling/therapy
More resources
- Atlas Institute for Veterans and Families