Strategies: What may help

Recognizing the stresses and losses you have experienced as a couple and family, and grieving those losses takes time and often needs a combination of self-help, support from friends and family, and professional help.

Ways to be helpful to each other:

• Acknowledge the losses and your grief and its many layers to one another.
• Recognize and validate each other’s emotions.
• Meet each other in your pain without trying to fix or solve each other’s
• Provide emotional support by spending time together.
• Listen with compassion, patience, humility and nonjudgment.
• Let them know regularly that you care about them.
• Avoid giving advice and using phrases beginning with “at least”, “you should” or “you will,” which may be perceived as unwelcome judgments.

Making time for friends and extended family can help reduce feelings of isolation.

Take some time to find what support is available for you and your family:

• What is available from the CAF, RCMP or Veterans Affairs Canada in term of benefits, career, and grief and other counselling?
• Who can the Veteran rely on for emotional support?
• Who can you rely on for emotional support?
• What logistical support do you need and who can provide it?
• What is available within the community, online or through other services?

For more information, see Supporting you and the Veteran in your life and Your grief roadmap.