Introduction

Unlike other careers, when one member of a family is in the Canadian Armed Forces (CAF) or the Royal Canadian Mounted Police (RCMP), the whole family serves. The phrase “there is no life like it” is often applied to underscore the uniqueness of the career for both the service member and the family.

The CAF and the RCMP each have their own culture, language, approach, and written and unwritten codes and rules. It is more than a job. It is a calling to serve one’s country and one’s community, and it puts its members in harm’s way every day.

Service families’ experiences aren’t all the same, and families and individuals have different ways of responding to and getting through difficult situations. Rank, the frequency and location of deployments and posts, and not having control over when and where moves happen also make a difference.

When both spouses serve, the logistics can make life doubly complicated. The common experience of the career can be helpful to a relationship, but it also may discourage partners from sharing their stresses because they know how much the other is already carrying.   

Although there are tensions in all relationships, some couples and their families seem to withstand the upheavals of service life and transitioning out of service. For many, the unique challenges of military and RCMP life can make for a bumpy ride.

This section:

• Identifies the unique features of service that can lead to feelings of grief and loss for families.
• Recognizing the unique and significant impact serving in the RCMP or military has on spouses, couples, and families.
• Suggests approaches that may help to support relationships and address tensions and feelings of loss.