Introduction

Grief is already hard when you lose someone, but when you add suicide to that, it’s complicated and complex. It adds another layer. - Family Member

A loss to suicide can be devastating. It is often experienced as shocking, confusing, and may be accompanied by trauma.

Suicide loss survivors include everyone who has been impacted by the death. It’s important to allow yourself to grieve.

Each person’s experience with a suicide loss is unique. It’s commonly described as a “different kind of grief.” It can be helpful to understand why it is different, how to seek support—and to know that you don’t have to go through it alone.

This topic addresses the complexities of grieving a death from suicide while in active service or as a Veteran and offers ways to approach this complex grief.

For more information about grieving this loss, go to MyGrief.ca - When someone has died by suicide.

A note about language

Sensitive content warning

Everyone is unique, with their own experiences, histories, and struggles. These factors are always present and influence your emotions, reactions, and thoughts when engaging with new situations or information, such as printed, video, or audio material.

The content within this topic is provided in the spirit of acknowledging and validating the experiences of Veterans and their families. It reflects multiple people’s experiences. The context and details have been maintained to honour those experiences.

Since attention has been paid to acknowledge these experiences rather than avoid potentially challenging or sensitive content, you may find some of it disturbing or triggering, especially for those with post-traumatic stress disorder (PTSD) or other anxiety disorders, or a history of post-traumatic stress injury (PTSI) or occupational stress injury (OSI).

This warning is included for transparency and to encourage you to do what you need to do to feel safe and look after your own health while using this learning module. You may find it helpful to pace yourself as you go through it.

Written content contains stories, quotes, and vignettes informed by the voices of actual veterans and their families. Content may include the following topics:

Self-harm and suicide
Death and dying
Substance use
Post-traumatic stress injury or disorder (PTSI or PTSD)
Occupational stress injury (OSI)

The videos show Veterans, their partners, and families sharing personal stories. Some may be disturbing or triggering and may cause psychological or physiological symptoms, especially for those who have experienced Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder (PTSD) or other anxiety disorders, Post-Traumatic Stress Injuries (PTSI) or Operational Stress Injuries (OSI). This warning is included for transparency and to encourage readers to take care of themselves while looking at this resource. Videos can have a greater emotional impact and can be a higher risk for triggers.

Taking care of yourself

For more support

9-8-8 provides a safe space to talk, 24 hours a day, 365 days a year. When you call or text 9-8-8, you will reach a responder at one of nearly 40 local, provincial and territorial, and national crisis lines, who co-deliver the service.
The VAC Assistance Service provides free, short-term psychological support with a mental health professional. For immediate support, call 1-800-268-7708 to speak to a mental health professional.
The Family Information Line is a confidential, personal, bilingual and free service offering information, support, referrals, reassurance and crisis management to the military community. Call 1-800-866-4546 or connect online.
The Hope for Wellness Helpline is available to all Indigenous people across Canada. Experienced and culturally competent counsellors are reachable by telephone and online ‘chat’ 24 hours a day, 7 days a week. Both telephone and online chat services are available in English and French. Telephone support is also available upon request in Cree, Ojibway (Anishinaabemowin), and Inuktitut. Call 1-855-242-3310 (toll-free) or connect online.